Dark Dreams: Sebastian Michaelis, Who Were You?
by secretserpent
Summary: "There was a reason demons didn't sleep: dreams come only as nightmares, more hellish than myself." An exploration of Sebastian's human past. Rated M for violence, for future depictions of more violence and grimness in general.
1. Chapter 1: A Demon's Dream

~~~Hello! I don't want to get in the way much during my story here, but I felt that this was an important thing to say before we get too far along.

First off, I do not or nor will I ever own any rights to Kuroshitsuji!

Also, this story is meant to be an exploration of the human that Sebastian once was and what lead up to his turn into Demonhood. Because of this, there is the warning that this story may be OOC at times to fit in his human side and has OCs as well for the same reason. With a fair warning as well, I politely have ignored some conspiracies of Sebastian's true age. I liked the historical time period I've chosen, and we will see more better by next chapter where he's from and all that juicy stuff. Thank you for bearing with me! I promise I'm done now! ~~

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><p>"<em>Otou-sama!"<em>

His voice resonated in the dark bedroom, calling out from the depths of Sebastian's restless dreams. The haunting high-pitched voice that called out for help in a desperate, fearful tone awoke the demon from his sleep in a cold sweat. Raising a hand to his face, Sebastian covered his eyes, attempting to hide himself from the garish scene. There was a reason demons didn't sleep: dreams come only as nightmares, more hellish than the inner realms of Hell itself.

Even with his face graced in the darkness of his bedroom in the Phantomhive household, Sebastian could still see the burning reminisce of his nightmare. There was blood gathered in dark inky pools on the wooden floor and in silken ribbons on the walls. Lifeless forms were strewn across the floor, seemingly tossed aside like unimportant ragdolls. A portrait lay broken on the ground, ash obscuring the faces of the slender forms.

But the last horrific seconds of this nightmare kept a stronghold on the darkness of Sebastian's eyelids and on the darkness of his mind. Sitting in the chaos of the up-turned and bloodied room was a boy child looking up with terrified cerulean eyes. This child was dirty and scared, crying for help, and staring up at Sebastian with a commanding gaze. Sebastian lunged forward, trying to close the gap between himself and this child.

The large oak door behind Sebastian closed with a thud.

Encompassed by the darkness, the child's voice rang out: _"Otou-sama!"_

This lasting imprint was haunting, or would have been if Sebastian were still able to comprehend the complexities of human grieving. _Being human is an inconvenience I am no longer cursed with_, he thought apathetically to himself. But even in that simple thought, somewhere stretching from another plane was the defiant whisper that this demon butler was wrong and he knew it. There was something worthwhile in a human life and in human struggle. But, then again, who would want to remember their own turbulent tumble from human despair to demonic indifference?

Sebastian Michaelis cared not for the stories of the past, or who he may have been before his presently perfected and irresistibly evil state. But the residual energy that called itself Kenjiro Nakano would make itself known to Sebastian's emptied soul. Kenjiro Nakano will make the demon remember the days before his hellish reign: of promises kept and promises broken.


	2. Chapter 2: Unexpected Remembrance

A/N: Hello! Thank you for sticking with me here. I had fun trying to delve into Sebastian's personal thoughts in this chapter. I'm excited for the next chapter, but I can't post until I change a few things! Please, let me know if there's mistakes or unclear parts-I'd like this to be as enjoyable as possible!

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><p>Sebastian didn't indulge in anymore sleep for that evening. He wasn't worried or upset, as perhaps a human would be, oh no. He was, however, perturbed that the one of very few luxuries now seemed to disagree with his palate. Sleep was a rare occasion for him, between the reality that his master kept him preoccupied with special chores and the fact that sleep wasn't a necessity. Dreams never occurred, only nightmares.<p>

One would think a demon wouldn't be mindful of nightmares, possibly because of their twisted and dark preferences during the waking hours. Indeed, Sebastian did have a fondness for the chase and execution of human life. The unspoken reason demons chose not to indulge in sleep often was because of their own real human suffering being resurfaced from the shadowy chains leading to Hell. Of course demons enjoyed human suffering; they thrived on it for harvesting of souls. No demon is sadistic enough to force old memories up that they no longer needed. There were theories for why demons don't remember their past lives. One of many possible theories circulating between the creatures that come and go from Hell was that a human's memories are a part of their soul, and seeing as a demon is no longer a soul-infested being, their old memories were extracted.

_Well there's a novel notion_, Sebastian thought to himself. He was sitting in an over-stuffed chair of his small bed chambers, waiting for the sun to rise. Making a slight grimace, he decided he could begin his morning preparations, as long as he reminded himself to work more slowly. Moving slow was a minor frustration to Sebastian, for he knew how fast he really could accomplish his tasks. However, he needed a way to put his nighttime irritation behind him.

Quietly gliding through the large Phantomhive manor, Sebastian made his way down to the kitchen. He lit a few solidary candles throughout the halls leading to the kitchen. It was a good thing he had enough prescience of mind to remember his ridiculous supportive staff may run into something in the darkness. It was a common occurrence that annoyed Sebastian greatly. He found himself in the kitchen, turning on the lights so he could make preparations for his _bocchan'_s breakfast.

Time went much slower than Sebastian anticipated once he was in the kitchen. He turned and looked at the large wooden clock by the door. It was only seven o'clock in the morning, giving him an excruciating amount of time to prepare a simple meal consisting of a layered fruit parfait, honeyed steel-cut oats, served with a decadent amandine rose black tea (imported overnight from Scandinavia). An intoxicating mixture of earthy spices and sweet fruit rose and filled the kitchen. The intriguing combination brought the noses of the other household servants to the kitchen.

As the other servants were ungracefully pushing their way into the kitchen, Sebastian checked the clock again. He had successfully wasted an hour with preparations, and now was at liberty to wake his young master. Sebastian mildly wondered if the young lord ever had pleasant dreams. As far as Sebastian knew, _bocchan_ was plagued with nightmares and seemingly dark omens. Of course, he didn't really expect anything remotely cheerful to resonate from his master, but it did seem that a human boy of his age would at least have a good dream once in a while, even if it could be considered accidental by the participant.

Arriving at Ciel Phantomhive's bedchamber, Sebastian gave a quick but polite knock on the door before letting himself into the darkened room. Sunlight was struggling to get in from behind the midnight velvet curtains, beckoning to start the day. In one fluid motion, Sebastian set down the breakfast tray and drew the curtains back, letting sunlight envelope the darkly furnished room of his young master.

"_Bocchan_, it is morning now. We have a full schedule for you today, so please let me dress you and serve your breakfast."

Ciel turned his disgruntled, sleepy face towards his butler. Two mismatched eyes opened coldly onto Sebastian's form, before sighing and sitting up in bed. Sebastian began the morning routine beginning with impeccably dressing his master in his customary blue shorts and frock. Once Sebastian was done dressing his bocchan, Ciel was hoisted out of his bed and lead over to the small table expertly laid with his breakfast. The young earl asked for his schedule which Sebastian recited off to him with little awareness of the here-and-now. Sebastian's mind was still embarrassingly attached to last night's short scene of tragedy. He really was beginning to believe that perhaps it was a warning from his human life. But such a thought made his stomach churn uncharacteristically.

"Sebastian!" Ciel said curtly, "have you heard a thing I said to you?"

Sebastian realized his mistake and swiftly refocused his attention on the young master. "My apologies, _bocchan_. Were you asking why you have to meet with your fiancée today? As you know my lord, Miss Elizabeth's birthday will be spent out in Paris with family next weekend and she wanted to see you before her departure. Surely it is customary to see one's own fiancée off with good wishes?"

"Well, I guess that's true…" Ciel grumbled into his cup of tea. Good thing for Sebastian he could hear while not really listening. I'm sure the demon butler's wandering mind would not please his young master much.

The majority of the day passed without much consequence for any of the Phantomhive household. Sebastian was bored and avoiding the other servants—like usual. _Bocchan_ was singularly entertaining Miss Elizabeth until dinnertime, where more guests would arrive for a special going away supper for his fiancée. Sebastian busied his mind and hands with preparations for dinner most of the afternoon.

Sebastian spent the majority of the dinner hour absentmindedly serving the Phantomhive guests. The courses were served with exceptional grace and tact, but if a demon butler like Sebastian couldn't multitask, well that would be definitely disappointing. Instead Sebastian thought of the unknown child in his dream, staring at him with eyes like the ocean at night. It wasn't until a myriad of laughter broke from the dining table that Sebastian focused completely on the events presently occurring.

Lady Elizabeth was attempting to get Ciel to accept the most ridiculously decorated hat undoubtedly in existence in all of England. She pouted and lightly whined at Ciel's ungraciousness at her affectionate gift. Others at the table politely laughed behind gloved hands or chuckled through closed lips. It could be agreed that no one appreciated Lady Elizabeth's present except for Lady Elizabeth. However, because the young master was one bent on grace and keeping face, he finally gave in and let her place the thing on his head. Sebastian was always surprised by his young master's ability to adapt to situations. Even though it could be well agreed that the young earl Ciel deeply disliked this situation, he eventually indulged in a small laugh. It bubbled out from somewhere deep inside, sounding very childish to Sebastian's ears. Even though the laugh was in ridicule of Elizabeth, it still sounded pure and fragile.

Sebastian's eyes suddenly grew wide as he listening to the tinkling sound of his _bocchan's_ laugh. There was a momentary flood of something inexplicable inside of Sebastian. He was hit with a sudden vision of small children running towards him with full smiles, and him catching them in his outstretched arms. This flood was partially due to a strange scene that danced across eyes and partially due to the entrapment of something remarkably like humanness. If Sebastian could remember the feelings by name, they might be labeled as warmth and love. It disgusted him and invigorated him at the same time.

Although none of the guests or his own master noticed anything had happened to Sebastian, he felt a curiosity stronger than before. Perhaps he needed to evaluate what his nightmare was trying to tell him. Sebastian vowed to himself he would try to dream again this very night. He was already anticipating the chance to see into these images and put reason to them. With that, he put on his customary smirk and brought out tea and desserts for the oblivious diners.


End file.
